Holding Place for Sadistic Excess (randomtruth.net/blog)

List as of 12/14/05, Revised (slightly) 2/20/07

1. Yes, I still am a Democrat, close to the mighty middle, and yes, it still comes first.
2. I am currently in love with N. I can’t fool myself into believing otherwise.
3. I can, of course, but in this moment, I don’t.
4. I tire easily of listening to others complain about their life and do nothing to fix it.
5. I’ve improved with age.
6. I have regrets that I don’t vocalize often.
7. I want to write a book.
8. It will have to wait until I leave my company – I have a publishing ban in my contract.
9. I exercise in the morning, while the air is cool, the sky is dark, and there is hardly a soul around.
10. I crave physical contact.
11. I’ve lied to protect someone.
12. I’ve also learned valuable lessons in honesty.
13. No matter how much you read about me, you will never understand me, embrace me, like N can.
14. I may seem conflicted about decisions I’ve made, but in truth, I would still make them much the same.
15. My mother and N are the two people in my life that have seen me cry.
16. I own an American car, use American products, buy American goods.
17. I believe in the death penalty purely for the closure that it provides for the victims and their families.
18. My favorite sadistic tool is a razor. Cold, clean, effective.
19. The whip is a close second.
20. N wrote a story that featured me, crucifying her. It was the most erotic thing I ever read.
21. I enjoy slow and easy just as much as fast and hard. The difference is when and why.
22. Dark red is my favorite color.
23. I’ve had stitches more times than I can remember.
24. I have no childhood trauma. I was never raped, beaten, neglected or bullied.
25. I wasn’t always in shape. I made a choice to become the way I am today.
26. N has tempered my dominant style. Refined it.
27. I recommend sex in a rain storm.
28. My touch comes on like a hammer but ends in a caress.
29. I am capable of utter and heartless cruelty – even towards myself.
30. I want a woman, not a girl. I am a man, and I want the playing field level when we start.
31. I avoid people who take certain medication. I deal with enough professionally, I don’t want it in my personal life.
32. I believe that all pain can be managed – physical, mental, emotional – if the will is there, the determination is there, and the strength to battle your own demons is there.
33. N’s ass drives me to distraction. She knows it.
34. Jealousy has driven me over the edge many times. I don’t allow for it. She, however, somehow taps into my visceral self.
35. I refuse to wear leather pants, chaps, vests or hats.
36. Despite my relationship with N, I still hate commitment.
37. I can be playful. If you see it…is another story.
38. I love and hate my job.
39. I’m not southern, northern, foreign or otherwise. I am utterly unassociated with any one region.
40. I have season tickets to the symphony.
41. I believe some of the best sex can be had without any ‘extras.’
42. I enjoy reading other 100′s lists for purely informational reasons. I like the quick and easy snap shot, as opposed to hours of archives.
43. I started this blog at the request of N – while she was with another man.
44. I’ve used it to hurt her, and I’m highly likely to do so again.
45. My favorite food is pizza – with Pepperoni, sausage, extra cheese, mushrooms, onions, black olives, pineapple. (But I rarely indulge, it isn’t healthy)
46. I love produce – I know the produce managers of my local stores. Over half of my diet is a fruit or a vegetable daily.
47. I hate green, red, yellow, orange or any other shade of BELL pepper.
48. Mexican food – real Mexican food – is another vice.
49. I’m considering a tattoo.
50. At one time in my life, I thought I wanted a slave. Until I had one and became utterly disgusted with her dependence upon me.
51. A healthy couple is much like an accordion. They separate and go their own ways every morning, and at the end of day, they come together and make music.
52. I learned that in college. It still amuses me that people play the accordion.
53. I can be emotionally manipulated by music if I can be calm enough to listen to it.
54. I own a Pontiac Jaguar. It is the car I’ve always wanted.
55. I enjoy hunting when the animal has a sporting chance.
56. I almost always carry a knife. N has a love/hate relationship with it.
57. While I don’t like water skiing, I do love to snow ski/Toboggan.
58. While rope bondage is beautiful, I don’t like it for art, I like it for being able to creatively reduce someone to carry-on luggage. There is a difference.
59. If I read your blog, chances are, I check it daily.
60. Tell me the truth, even if it will hurt me. I’ll respect you more for it.
61. Why something happens is just as important as the event itself.
62. Canes are exquisite.
63. When I fuck, there are times I am more animal than man.
64. I can do a general profile of someone upon shaking their hand and having a conversation of 15 minutes.
65. I find that first impressions can be quite accurate, but are subject to change.
66. I enjoy progress.
67. I have a food chain at my home. Fish< —->  (the fish died, thanks to the cat.) Bird< —->Cat
68. The cat likes to sleep on my head and bitches if I don’t pay her enough attention.
69. She is currently sitting on my chair, supervising my typing.
70. I blog from my pda, my tablet and my desktop and work and home. I’m wired 24×7 – it pisses me off.
71. I hate the phone, so when a personal call comes through, and they yammer on, I zone out just start saying ‘okay.’
72. I call a spade a spade.
73. My humor doesn’t always come through when I write, and I refuse to make one of these….
74. I polish my shoes.
75. I know how to do my own laundry.
76. I worked as a Butcher a long time ago. I can cut meat beautifully.
77. I was raised dominant. My father was dominant and we didn’t get along well.
78. While I rarely attend mass, I am Roman Catholic. I pray daily for my patience, my temperament and my faith to sustain me.
79. Call me Dae, or D. I don’t like my full name used often.
80. I admire strength – personal strength.
81. Dark hair, dark eyes will draw my attention every time.
82. Smell is an important draw for me. I often want to bury myself into N because she smells so fucking good.
83. I’m straight. I like all the kinky shit, but I am not attracted to men.
84. My favorite places on a woman are her neck, her breasts and that place on the inside of her legs where her sex meets her thigh. Dear God, It’s Heaven.
85. There are things that I cannot forgive.
86. I had a great friend teach me everything I know about wine. She passed away at the age of 32. I miss her.
87. I’ve seen death enough times to last me for a century.
88. And so I cling to every second of my life and try not to waste a single drop with fear or doubt.
89. Fear does however, sometimes keep you from being stupid.
90. I’ve been stupid plenty of times to know that.
91. I may not speak, but I do listen.
92. My best writing is done when I am passionate; Anger sustains me when creativity fails.
93. I am manipulative. To my own ends, sometimes, and to the ends for which you want to achieve success, I’ll motivate you.
94. I do my shopping online. Groceries, Christmas gifts, Sex toys….
95. I still feel like Atlas, supporting the world from the outside.
96. Excuses, excuses…I don’t want to hear them.
97. I’m addicted to ITunes, and need to refill my bucket.
98. Long hair, short hair – I just want to be able to bury my face in it.
99. I love to dance.
100. Kiss me. I’ll make it all go away.